Ok now first off i'd like to say is that i came into this movie wanting to love it, mainly because it was directed/written by my favorite director, Kevin Smith. Now a lot of you might know Kevin Smith from his films like Clerks or Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back, well this movie is not like that. At all. Its a "horror" movie, well that's what he calls it, but really its not scary, its not suspenseful, its not even chilling. I'd call it an action/religious film. Ok its essentially about a family of people that are like the Westboro Baptist Church family also know as the felps family. Now if you don't know who that is its the people that go to gay peoples funerals and hold up sighs that say like "God hates fags" or "God hates the U.S.A". there complete fucking morons that think God hates everything. well in this movie instead of the Felps family that just protest the things, this family (the coopers) does that and goes around kidnapping and murdering gay people and really anybody that commits sins. and they do this whole ceremony by wrapping them to a cross and shoot them. Now ya see all that that i just wrote you have to know all of that in order to get who these people are parodying. Ok one of my mine problems with this movie is that it never sets up anything, things just kinda happen and then its over. By the way this movie is only an hour and a half long movie but it goes by so fast that nothing in this movie is memorable. I don't even remember anybody's names, and i know what you're thinking oh he probably just didn't pay attention. No i payed attention i had to just to know what the fuck anyone was saying! Most of the people in this movie have no name, and I'm not saying like "church guy 1" as no name I'm saying that they say peoples names so little or sometimes not at all. Ok lets go to some good notes before i really get into. The acting is good for the most part accepted John Goodman, he just seemed really bored with his dialogue and really some of his line probably couldn't be said any better. I'm not saying I don't like John Goodman, I love him he is awesome and a great actor. But with this dialogue he can't do much with it. Ya know whats funny? The best thing Kevin Smith knows how to do is dialogue, so you'd think it would at least be good but no its not very good at all. The only part in the movie that i thought was great was Michael parks as "abin cooper" (yes i had to look his character's name because they say it like fucking 3 times and in such a low voice!) he was just great his dialogue was good, his acting was good, his character was good and the only one that i was interested in. Other then that most of the characters were either annoying or had no lines so they couldn't be anything. Ok I'm going to tell you the movie and this won't take long because there isn't much to say. So there three teenagers want to fuck someone so they go on this website and meet this chick who wants to bone them all at the same time. so they go to her trailer and she tells them to drink beer so they can fuck. Well the beer was drugged and they pass out right after they see some people walking towards them. Oh i wonder if these are the bad guys???? So one of them wakes up in a cage in front of a bunch of people in a church. So after Michael parks finishes his sermon he reveals a guy strapped to a cross and shoots him in the head while preaching something from the bible. after that they get the guy in the cage up there and as there strapping him to the cross a cop shows up because when the kids where driving to that lady's trailer there sides swiped a car with a cop who was getting his dick sucked by another dude. so the cop told the other cop to go fined the car. so the cop sees the car. so Michael parks goes out there and starts to talk to him saying it was his granddaughter and shit. while this is happening the two other friends wake up under the stage of the church. so they try and get loose and one of them does and leaves thee other one still tide up a little because he was scared? I don't know. so the one who gets out from under the stage runs around the basement and fined the gun room a room with like a ton of guns like AK-47's and shit like that. one of the guys fines him and they shoot each other at the same time. there dead. so the cop out side here the shoots fired and calls for back up right in front of Michael parks but not thinking to pull his gun out, he just stands there and lets some guy shoot him with a shotgun. Once i again a lot of people are stupid in this movie. so the other cop at the station calls John Goodman who is a SWAT guy for something I don't really know. he's got a team and the other cop with him. so the other kid under the stage manages to get to the gun room and get a gun only to walk right through the front of the church instead of sneaking to the sides and out the back. so of course everyone sees him and chases him but stupidly he don't use thee assault rifle that he just got he just runs around until he fines the front door and starts to run out and that's when the other cop shoots him without telling anyone he was going to do so so technically they just fired first at the coopers. so they get into this gun war and John Goodman calls for back up and his chef says that they need to kill everyone so they don't get in trouble for firing first on them. so gun fight happens people that we don't know and or don't care about die and then one of the girls runs out to tell the SWAT team that she wants to save the kids but they have to kill everyone so he is ordered to kill her. she runs back inside and the mom (lady from the trailer) asked what she was doing out there? so she says that she wants to save the kids but the mom being insane say they all need to die and be with jesus. so the girl fined the last kid that was getting strapped to the cross and say he has to help so the mom fines them she gets shot, they go out side and the SWAT shoots them in the face. so ya all of the main people from the beginning are dead the only people with any set up and character building is gone now. so after that they here a loud noise and Michael parks thinks it God and walks up to John Goodman and tells him its the rapture so that scene fades out to John Goodman telling FBI people the story and the end. So that was Red State in a nut shell. Now one thing i have to say before i close is that the cinematography is awful! this is one of the most shakiest movies ever! every time someone runs they need to hold the camera and shake it all around like they are having a fucking seizure. Shaky cam pisses the heel out of me and its even worse when this is not a guy holding a camera movie like Clover field and movies like that, its just poor cinematography and is just annoying. ok so finely thoughts, this movie sucked and was one of the worst Kevin Smith films ever. 4/10 for me and that is below average. Go see it if your a Kevin Smith fan because the money he make from this goes into SModcast and Hit somebody. but if you thinking its going to be scary and nasty then you are wrong. so ya thanks for reading i know this was long but i had alot to say so please comment and follow me on twitter and facebook: https://twitter.com/#!/jt_cano http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000515854164 thanks for reading and goodbye
By John Cano
